The Adventures of the Great Saiyaman
by Lucillia
Summary: Gohan wasn't the first "Great Saiyaman" in the family. Follow the adventures of the first "Superhero" on a world that needed one like a submarine needed a screen door.
1. Chapter 1

This had to be a nightmare. Why else would Vegeta, Raditz and Turles be standing there laughing their asses off at him? Vegeta he could understand, but Raditz and Turles were... Oh god, that wasn't an unscheduled solar eclipse earlier.

He suddenly realized that he had become dangerously distracted when one of the bad guys fired at him and the armor piercing rounds actually hit. Damn that stung. He swiftly pirouetted out of the way of the next round of fire, catching it before it could hit Videl or any other innocent bystanders for that matter.

Moments later, the criminals were caught and his job was done. Instead of flying off after giving his "just defeated the bad guy pose" he stood there and listened in growing horror as Raditz and Turles had gone from laughing to critiquing his performance. Even worse, Videl had noticed them and was listening as well.

"Hahaha. Oh my god, that's too funny. He ripped off all of the Ginyu Force's worst poses!" Raditz exclaimed. He was on his hands and knees, his right fist pounding the ground and his tail swinging wildly as he laughed.

"Snerk. Saiyaman? Saiyaman? And you allowed this?" Turles said, going through the same routine his father did the time Piccolo slipped on a slice of tomato and landed face first in the vat of tapioca pudding mom had been making for dessert while he laughed except his father didn't have a tail wrapped around his waist that twitched in an odd manner.

"Who am I to tell Kakarot's brat no when he wants to make a total ass of himself?" Vegeta said, leaning against a tree clutching his stomach.

Raditz and Turles stopped laughing immediately.

"Kakarot's..." Raditz started, looking at him as if seeing him for the first time.

"...Brat?" Turles finished, turning his full attention to him as well.

When did Turles get that scar on his cheek, and come to think of it, why did he change his armor?

The next thing he knew, one of his worst nightmares came to life and he found himself being grabbed and carried off by his uncle Raditz and one of his father's enemies. He was too stunned to react, much less power up and beat the shit out of them like he could, being much stronger than both of them put together and multiplied by ten.

"W-Where are you taking me?" he asked, rather stupidly in his opinion.

"To the nearest doctor's office." said the man who proved not to be Turles, but bore a shockingly close resemblance to him.

"Why?" he asked.

"To make sure you don't reproduce." Raditz replied.

"And to think Planthorr assured me that Grandpa's little problem wouldn't slip past the scanners." the man who looked like Turles moaned.

"Grandpa's little problem?" he asked.

"You aren't the first "Great Saiyaman" in the family." the man that looked like Turles curtly replied.


	2. Chapter 2

A long time ago, there was a planet that was called Plant. On that strange world were two races, one race was the peaceful Truffles who inhabited the world's most fertile regions, and the other was the warlike Saiyans - who may or may not have been a native species depending on which stories you believed - who lived in the deserts and other barren regions. The Truffles were a technologically advanced society, and the Saiyans wouldn't know what to do with electricity if it bit them in the butt.

The Truffles and the Saiyans both inhabited the planet relatively peacefully for a long time simply because their ways of living were so incomprehensible to the other that they just found it easier to prevent headaches by simply avoiding each-other and pretending the other race didn't exist. That, and the Truffles had well maintained electric fences surrounding their cities and a well trained Saiyan and Animal control department that knew how to deal with "flying pests". It remained that way until King Vegeta started the ten year long war that ended up annihilating the Truffles during a rare full moon.

This story takes place long before that fateful night, during the days of Kakarot and Raditz's great-grandfather...

In a cliff dwelling that was part of a community of such dwellings which was either a long walk or a short flight away from a mid-sized Truffle city there lived a family that consisted of a mother, a father, their children, and their grandchildren who ranged in ages from toddlerhood to a young woman who was expecting her own child in a few months. One of the grandchildren was a teenager named Kukanbaru. Kukanbaru was rather strange for a Saiyan. Rather than avoiding the nearby Truffle city during hunting trips like most of his kind, he would often see how close he could get to it.

At one time, he had even brought home proof that he had been within the city's boundaries to show to his friends. It was a document that he had fished out of the trash in a park on the city's outskirts. The brightly colored hand drawn document that had caught his eye which consisted of a bunch of pictures with words that Kukanbaru could barely understand that told the tale of an alien superhero represented the entire works of planet Plant's first and last Comic Book artist. Unable to find a publisher after searching for more than a decade, the frustrated Truffle had thrown his masterpiece in the garbage and went back to writing trashy romance novels.

The thing that stuck in the highly impressionable mind of young Kukanbaru who had just recently entered puberty about the document he'd pored over until it practically fell apart after his friends had tossed it aside with disgust was that the strange looking and oddly dressed flying person attracted the attention of every female who saw it, and that all of the attention it attracted was positive. It was from there that an idea that caused a great deal of embarrassment for clan Green Rock of the Southern Cliffs, and a great deal of annoyance for the authorities of Blazing Star City was born.

Kukanbaru knew he could fly, and that he was pretty good at it. His grandfather who had been the best flier in the clan had taught him how. He could shoot Ki beams better than half the guys his age, and nailed his targets precisely three quarters of the time. All he needed was a strange outfit. As soon as he got that, he would be all set to destroy any large green tentacled creatures that appeared and save any screaming females.

All too soon, after diving into several dumpsters and shoplifting at a couple of thrift stores in the nearby city, he had the material for his costume. Fortunately, his mother had taught him the basics of sewing a couple years earlier after he'd destroyed yet another pair of boots.

A couple days later, the Great Saiyaman was born.


End file.
